I saw red when I watched 'Seeing Red'

I've recently been watching the much loved tv show 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer.' It's been constantly recommended to me and I have reached the end of season 6 now and the show is much better than I ever anticipated. I love the characters, the stories, the twists, the drama and comedy of it. But, there's one episode that has made me so uncomfortable and angry at Joss Whedon.

Warning: spoilers! Triggers for mentions of rape.

If you've watched Buffy then you'll understand all of this. If not, it might be interesting and a warning to you about how much you might dislike this episode. 'Seeing Red' is episode 19 of season 6. There's been this whole drama surrounding Spike and Buffy's "relationship" with them sleeping together and him being in love with her, Buffy claiming that she was just using him to deal with her other issues. In short, their "relationship" is a mess.

I'd always liked Spike. He was always a funny character despite his whole being a vampire thing which was great. I thought it was sweet at first that he was in love with Buffy. I wanted it to work. Then he got obsessive and it was just a bit creepy. But, I dealt with it. Vampire/slayer flings aren't exactly new to the show!

This was until the scene in "Seeing Red" when Spike attempts to rape Buffy on her bathroom floor. Yes, scenes that deal with rape are supposed to be uncomfortable to watch. I understand that. However, I was so angry about it because it was a shock, it was unexpected. Sure I expected Spike to do something evil after Buffy continuously rejected him but not this!

Not only was it shocking, it was totally unnecessary. I know that Whedon wanted to add more development for Spike's character but surely there are other ways to do this...

What I find most disturbing is that, from what I've read, the series continues focusing on Spike's struggles to come to terms with what he did. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT. Buffy has dealt with a lot of trauma so she can deal with this and does. But, I do not give a fuck how Spike feels. I do not care about his guilt. He should be feeling guilty, he should be in pain and regret what he has done for the rest of his 'life.' Why does Whedon insist on making the audience see this from the perspective of someone who attempted to rape someone?! It's not okay.

I dread to think what is going to happen next. I worry that Buffy and Spike will reconcile in some twisted turn of events. Buffy's character deserves time given to her healing after this event but Spike's does not.

Apologies if this is all rambling, I am just horrified by this episode and it's making it very difficulty for me to continue watching a show that I really enjoyed.